The self determination of get it up ye

James Obi Wan Kelman-Commission’s polemic against the proto-imperialistic monarchic forces of Scottish oppression was published this week in independence leaning website Bella Bella Caledonia. Here we publish the abridged version for the sake of readers with an aversion to reading.

Aw we need is a great big melting Scot. Big enough to take Britain for all it's got. And keep stirring it for 300 hunner years or more. And turn oot Braveheart Commandos by the score.

By Bigchipon Shooder

“See they proto-imperialistic, monarchy supportin, militaristic, Tory backin, privileged, bourgeoise, patriotic, unethical, oppressive, anglocentric, racist, culturally superior, middle class, artistic, patronising, hostile, colonisin, higher order, Anglo-Saxon, non-determinist, united, paternalistic, submissive, servile, canine like, myth makin, history changin, proud, misinformin, divisive, media controllin, torturin, mutilatin, human right denyin, freedom denyin, English elitists – they get on mah tits so they dae. Whit a bunch o’ arrogant basturts, so they ur.

“An’ see they SNP, they’re jist aboot as bad. But vote for them onyway, cos it’s thame or an Anglicised subjective slavery that ye’ll be imposing on future Scots for the next three hunner year.”

Original Piece

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