James Obi Wan Kelman-Commission’s polemic against the proto-imperialistic monarchic forces of Scottish oppression was published this week in independence leaning website Bella Bella Caledonia. Here we publish the abridged version for the sake of readers with an aversion to reading.
By Bigchipon Shooder
“See they proto-imperialistic, monarchy supportin, militaristic, Tory backin, privileged, bourgeoise, patriotic, unethical, oppressive, anglocentric, racist, culturally superior, middle class, artistic, patronising, hostile, colonisin, higher order, Anglo-Saxon, non-determinist, united, paternalistic, submissive, servile, canine like, myth makin, history changin, proud, misinformin, divisive, media controllin, torturin, mutilatin, human right denyin, freedom denyin, English elitists – they get on mah tits so they dae. Whit a bunch o’ arrogant basturts, so they ur.
“An’ see they SNP, they’re jist aboot as bad. But vote for them onyway, cos it’s thame or an Anglicised subjective slavery that ye’ll be imposing on future Scots for the next three hunner year.”