Daylight robbery revealed after Red Millibean asks Coalition Cabinet – all those out of touch with humanity – put your hands up!
By Ree Appropriated-Luting
CAREER CRIMINALS were advised today that if they really want to get away with a life of crime they should join the Tory party.
Chancellor, Bullingdon Oik, The High Sheriff of Nottingham, gave thieves and robbers everywhere an abject lesson in master criminality.
Lex Luther, Fu Manchu, Moriarty, The Master, and Blofeld have all tipped the hat and paid their respects to the ‘ultimate self-serving robbing bastard’ – George Bullingdon Oik Firstborne, Chancellor of the Exchequer.
Dick Turpin, spokesperson for the Criminal Underworld Nefarious Terrain Specialists, said: “Robbing the poor to feed the rich has never before been carried out with such aplomb.
“What is so admirable is that he did it so blatantly on television in front of a watching nation. When you think about it, it’s staggering in its boldness and audacity.
“If this had happened in France, there would be blood in the streets and Bullingdon Oik knows it. What a jolly old wheeze”
According to unofficial statistics gathered from the Daily Mail archives, Cabinet Robbers will benefit from this latest heist to the approximate tune of £100,000 per annum per man.
A government source, who wished to remain anyonymous because he couldn’t keep a straight face, said: “We’ve actually done the taxpayer a favour. When you think about it, there’s no need to fiddle our expenses any more. The tax cut has taken care of that. Crime really does pay if you’re Tory.”