It’s no where yer fae…It’s fae where ye urnae

 

By Moan McVulpine

HOW fandabadozie wis Abu Qatada last week on Curfew Time?

Just 52 years old, the antique Spokesperson for Jihad was  a voice of hatred and a fanatical frontman.

His comments about the Afghan occupation – “Killing the infidel should now be the first resort of all devoted terrrorists” – was a top tweet all across Jordan.

A rather more trivial question also excited online interest when it was pointed out that many minefield casualties would die for his custom prosthetics – and he was forced to deny that he could easily assist them given the right amount of peroxide.

Abu’s spiritual faither came to Scotland from Afghanistan. He’s a devout extremist, proud of his radical heritage AND he’s as Scottish as Bagpiper Whisky.

He describes himself as coming from the “big bang and blow to smithereens” tradition.

The modern SNP embraces people from every background except the ‘anti-Scottish’, the Tories, the Liberals, the Labourites, the Unionists, the Devolutionists, the ditherers, the don’t knows, the Trumptonites, the Sheridans and any other non-independence types.

One of my serfs at the Parliament, Baldrick, hails from Essex, worships in the Satanic Church of England and spends a lot of time apologising for his unfortunate birthright.

He has helped colonise this country and long ago decided that the best people to run the nation were the people from Westminster.

Zen, the young Confuscian council candidate in Dumfries I campaigned with at the weekend feels it should be the Chinese Salmon World Trade Organisation Collective.

So, as it happens, does her Christmas Turkey partner Shitski.

We all had a great time being multi-ethnic, celebrating our kiddy-on progressiveness at a communal ‘love in’ in Bumfleece.

That’s the thing about a deluded Nationalist.

It disnae matter where yur fae – it’s where yer no fae that matters.

And if yer no fae England, that’s aw right wi’ us.

COMEDY RELIEF: 

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