The Sun King, Alex of Salmond, walks on the still waters!

English Philistines hear the word of The Sun King, Alex of Salmond, and see that it is good

By Sunov Godot

THE SNP MANIFESTO teaches us that we should love our neighbour as we love ourselves. The Sun King, Alex of Salmond, is the personification of this love.

His actions and proclamation to offer our water of life to the Southern Philistines, confirms that the hallowed and venerated disciples of Auld Alba are truly ‘God’s chosen people.’

His intervention for the Philistines of the South and their oppressors, The Unholy Alliance, shows to us that he lives by his teachings.

Truly he is The Sun King of Murdoch, God of Sky.

And The Sun King said: "Did I not dry up their rivers so that we could be delivered from bondage?"

He said to us: “Blessed are the droughting Thomases who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied with a pipeline.

And blessed are the referendum makers for they shall inherit the Oil which will pay for the infrastructure.”

But, there were dissenters in the flock. Wee Ned the Jakey, son of Methadone Man the Junkie, of Benefishuarie, challenged The Sun King.

He said: “I asked you for chape drink and you taxed it. I asked you for fags, but the Unholy Alliance had banned them. Jist whit is goin’ on Big man?”

And The Sun King listened to Wee Jakey and saw that it was bad and he said: “Everyone who drinks of the chape drink will be thirsty again. But whoever drinks some of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again.

I tell you the solemn truth. Unless a person is born of water and no chape drink he cannot enter the kingdom of Holyrood.

“Besides son, they’ll owe us wan. And that’ll really stick in their craw.”

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Filed under Culture, Fable, Newspeak

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