MANIFESTO OF THE SCOTTISH NATIONALISM PARTY #2

A continuation of our regular Monday night feature outlining the movement for Independence within the bureaucratic hegemony of the Greater Deutchland European Union.

[From the Gaelic edition of 2007, edited by Teuchter Murdoch]

I. ROCKETS AND BUCKFAST COMMANDOS

The history of aw uptaenoo existing schemies is the history of street struggles.

Ned and bawbag, snobby c**ts and jakies, dealers and junkies, smart-arses and nuggets, in a word, abusers and abused, stood in constant stramash with wan anither, carried on an uninterrupted, noo hidden, noo open fight, a fight that each time ended, either in somebody’s heid getting caved in, or in the polis getting caw’d.

At least until last week, we find in jist aboot everywhere a complicated arrangement of mingers into various orders, a sortin oot oh the peckin order. In ancient Ibrox we have administrators, chairmen, managers, players, punters; in the Middle Ages; Big Men, bouncers, fannybaws, dafties, diddies, bunties; in almost all of these classes, again, lowlife gradations.

The modern snobby rocket society that has been dragged up from the ruins of Darien Schemie society has not done away with national antagonisms. It has but established new classes, new conditions of oppression, new polemics from Joan McAlpine, new forms of struggle in place of the old ones. Our epoch, the epoch of the snobby c**t, possesses, however, this distinctive feature: it has simplified the national antagonisms. UK Society as a whole is more and more splitting up into two great hostile camps, into two great classes, directly facing each other: Rockets and Buckfast Commandos.

From the diddies of the Middle Ages sprang the young teams of the earliest toons. From these young teams the first elements of the rockets were developed…

Tune in next week for the next thrilling instalment which traces the origins of the nationalism movement in which the war cry; “Come ‘n’ huv a go if ye think yer hard enough!” was born.

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