Falkirk MP Eric Joycey admits assisting SNP Independence case over Commons orgy

Faux moral outrage over assault case could boost votes for SNP in referendum

By Sen Shual

MP ERIC JOYCEY has pleaded guilty to boosting the SNPs case for Independence during an orgiastic love-in at the Den of Thieves House of Pleasure last month.

The former soldier ‘Glasgow kissed’ some submissive tory fags as well as one of his own, Labourer flagellant, Filla Piss-son.

At Westminster Madames Brothel, Joycey, 21, admitted the charges including one of  being a soldier and not a sailor.

He was placed in suspenders by the Labourer Party following the incident on 22 February, pending the results of the brothel case.

Joycey reckons he can whip up support for Labourers in this cell

Disgraceful MP contemplates his newest 2nd home for at least the next 12 months. In keeping with previous form, it's all at taxpayers expense.

The MP later said that he would take the blame if the Scotch voted for independence in October 2014.

Under parliamentary rules, MPs automatically lose all respect if they don’t love as many opposition politicians as possible. Loving one of their own and assisting the opposition is viewed as a hanging offence.

Joycey, wearing a black basque, peephole bra and matching thong, entered the guilty pleas in a low husky voice.

Seeyur Dingaling QC, defending, told chief Madame, Jimmy Riddle: “Subject to the brothel’s view, he’d love to be ‘dealt with’ hard and rough.”

Ms Riddlle replied: “I am sure we can accommodate him.”

Police were called to the House of Pleasure following reports of a dominant stalker shortly before contraception time.

The MP was reported to have lashed out after declaring there “wurnae enough” Sexy Nat McVulpines in the hoose.

Voyeur victim, Luke Atthat, is a tory  counsellor on Brasundone Dungeon and a consort to Southern Brasundone MP Peeon Mycalf.

Joycey has been a disgrace to Falkirk since December 2000, and before entering political whoredom had served in the Sex Re-education Hardcore.

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