Time to overdose on Scotchland’s culture of dependency

MEN understand dependence instinctively. They know the alternative is independence – and who in their right mind wants to iron their ain shirts or make their ain tea?

Independence leaves you with carpets that urnae hoovered and a  piece ‘n’ sausage that disnae have broon sauce in it. The oppression between Scotchland and Angleland is a bit like the marriage of a petty jealous shrew, nurturing delusions of adequacy, to a laid back affluent rich guy.

He could easily turf her oot on her arse thanks to his strength, business acumen, financial services and cultural exports – along with tourist attractions that bring in hunners o’ millions o’wonga.

But the wife keeps nip nip nipping at his heid, complaining  he’s being inattentively unfaithful,  and spends aw the hoosekeepin on junkfood and methadone. He indulges her through love, duty and sentiment, and turns a blind eye to the waste of money. How uncaring is he even to mention that she’s daein his box in?

She’ll decide whit she deserves and whit she spends it on – that’s why it’s ‘her hoose’ and that’s why it’s a richt state.

Eventually he recognises the marriage for what it is – an abuse of circumstance.

Sometimes, patronisingly made up marriage scenarios make us see politics clearer –  no very often – and not in this case.

The pro-independence parties – SNP, SDA, LibBent defectives, and any other loonies with a grudge and a chip on their shooder the size ae a bag a tatties – have formed a huge human shield in the shape of Buddha Salmond.

They say they have the right to scold and cajole as they see fit. They are just like  mean spirited spoilt wee weans who want freedom to play ootside withoot any responsibility.

Unfortunately, this kind of progressive ‘child friendly’ outlook is only too prevalent amongst families. So why not tolerate it in politics?

MEN in Angleland have plenty of reason to say shutup for f**ks sake, it was me that bailed ye oot in the first place when ye made an arse o’ things when ye wur single. But that would be too truthful. And, the truth hurts.

We could do much better if we acted like consenting adults, appreciative of each others faults and positive traits. Aye, the wee scolding wifey could go it alone. But if she disnae watch oot, she could end up in the branks, or even worse, get skelped ower the heid for her bloody cheek.

Worth thinkin aboot.



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Filed under Culture, Morality, Newspeak

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