SPL strip Rangers of previous titles

There are taxmen on the pitch! They think it’s all over! It is now! It’s oot the door!

By Canny Stope-Laffin

GLASGOW Rangers are to have all of their song titles and lyrics rewritten following a probe by the Scotch Premiere League into allegations that sectarian song law was breached.

SPL rules FTP 1, GSTQ 2, LOL 4 and GTF 6, give the SPL Board wide powers of investigation into potential sectarian anomalies in songs.

After an extensive consultation period with Diddy team supporters and associated jakies, the following titles and lyrics were made redundant: Hello Hello; Follow Follow; Rule Britannia and Swing Low Sweet Chariot.

As investigations are still ongoing, more titles and songs  are set to come under SPL scrutiny.

AhDinnaKen has managed to gain exclusive access to the new songs and lyrical changes which are published here:

¬

TA-TA, TA-TA

Ta-Ta, Ta-Ta

We were the Silly Boys

Ta-Ta, Ta-Ta

We sang songs that ah noise

We’re up to our knees in tax returns

Sequestered, now we’ll die

For we were

The Ibrox Hairy Boys

¬

BORROW BORROW

Borrow, borrow we will borrow millions,

Everywhere, anywhere,

We will borrow on,

Borrow, borrow we will borrow millions,

If they go to the RBS we will borrow on.

¬

For there is not a scheme like the Craig Whyte Rangers,

No not one, and there never shall be one,

HMRC know all about our troubles,

We’ll shite oorsels till the day is done.

For there is not a scheme like the Craig Whyte Rangers,

No not one, and we’re jist aboot done!

¬

RULE THE TAXMAN

Rule the Taxman, the Taxman rules the waves

Rangers never never never shall be saved

Rule the Taxman, the Taxman rules the waves

Rangers never never never shall be saved

¬

SWING LOW SWEET TAX RETURN

Swing low, sweet tax return,

Comin’ for to shut a me down;

Swing low, sweet tax return,

Comin’ for to shut a me down;

¬

I looked over Ibrox,

And WHAT did I see,

Comin’ for to shut a me down,

A gang of sheriffs comin’ after me,

Comin’ for to shut a me down.

Repeat chorus:

If you shut a down before I do,

Comin’ for to shut a me down,

Tell all my friends I’m a shuttin’ too,

Comin’ for to shut a me down.

¬

One greetin Rangers fan, who preferred to remain anonymous in Monaco, said: “That’s no fair. Don’t they realise we’re an institution not a destitution.”

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