King Alex replies to stunty wee krank at Bloodyrude Cooncil
By Neigh Palm
ANTI-INDEPENDENCE Unionistas are chomping at the bit in their attempts to bridle King Alex of Salmond for his horseplay with media philanthropist Goebbels Murdoch.
Jockeying for position, Leading Scottish Labourer, Fandabadozie Lament, tried to geld King Alex, demanding to know first hand the details of his canter with Goebbels earlier this week.
King Alex, once again, galloped away from the rest of the field and accused them of being ‘filly’ it stating they weren’t going to make a foal of him.
Despite this, King Alex bucked expectations with this prepared statement which left punters wanting mare. “This is as farrier as it goes, if ye’s want mare you’ve got neigh chance.” he said.
The following is a transcript of his statement in full:
“If a confusing picture has emerged over the last few days, I’m very sorry about that. I think my brown shirts have had to answer a lot of questions about media philanthropists. Let me try and shed some light. I’ve known Goebbels Murdoch, the owner of News Inter-Nationalism for over 30 days and, he’s a good friend and he’s an ideological neighbour. In my vision for Scotchland, we live a few miles apart. I haven’t been writing for him since the News of the Screws closed down, as I said yesterday. Before the closure, yes I did go writing for him, he has a number of different newspapers and yes, one of them was this poor newspaper, the News of the Screws, which I did write in. I am very sorry to hear that The News of the Screws is no longer with us. Um, and I think I can probably conclude that I think I’ll be getting back into the saddle with the Sunday Scum some time soon.”