First they came for the Journalists

By Auntie Scott

SCOTTISH Natsie Party “heavies” are trying to intimidate the media, Lord Neimoller Steel of Torchwood, the former Bloodyrude presiding gauleiter, claimed last night as he girned at how Scotchland was becoming like a one-party state.

The bellyrumble from the ex-LibBent leader restoked the stramash over Mein Fuhrer Salmond’s previous non-appearance at a BBC Murrayfield Rally.

Earlier this month, Mein Fuhrer Salmond was involved in a stooshie with the BBC forces of Unionist Conspiracy efter he was telt “Naw! We don’t want the likes o’ you on the Telescreen.”.

Mein Fuhrer Salmond spat the dummy, went aff his heid and described the BBC as “Unionist reactionary terrorists”.  His opponents accused him of being “bloody right.”, adding: “Ha Ha. Get it right up ye big man. They’re on oor side richt enough – get ower it.”.  The BBC forces of Unionist Conspiracy said Mein Fuhrer Salmond had demanded a divine right to appear but, in the interests of secularism and protection of biasedness, they had to decline.

However, the Big Bloodyrude Cooncil accused the ‘Unionist reactionary terrorists’ of “gettin it aw rang” and pointed to the divine right of Mein Fuhrer to get whit he wants when he wants it.

During a diminuition of the Scotchland Bill last night, Noble Neimoller told peers: “When I switched on the Telescreen that Saturday, there was enough pish on view without Mein Fuhrer Salmond adding his particular blend.  He should be concentrating on his next present for Propaganda Minister Goebbels Murdoch.”.

The LibBent peer added: “We’re being telt that to be anti-SNP is to be anti-Scotch. If that means being anything like the SNP, then thank f**k I’m anti-Scotch.”  Referring to the stooshie, Noble Neimoller said:  “Other broadcasters have said this experience wisnae unique and that SNP brown shirts have made mare threatenin’ caws tae propaganda rooms throughoot the country than all the Unionist conspirators pit thegither.”.

His Labourer colleague, Lord von Foulkesake foamed that some people now recognise Mein Fuhrer Salmond as the new ‘messiah’ come to deliver ‘God’s chosen people’ from the forces of Unionyptian oppression.”

Wee Naebudy, spokesperson of the SNP said  hee haw because he wisnae asked – which in the interests of balance is jist aboot richt.


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Filed under Culture, Media, Newspeak

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