Government under pressure over McNaeskill appeal claim

By Widge Believeit

THE SCOTTISH Government is under pressure to explain claims that they advised the minister convicted of freeing a dieing Libyan prisoner.

The allegation levelled against the Government and denied by the minister – Canny McNaeskill – is contained in a new book, entitled ‘McNaeskill – Aye Ye Did Dae It Ya Rocket’.

In it, McNaeskill greets that he was: “…the victim of scunner hand politics, a Big Bad Unionist conspiracy, and anything else that might sound remotely plausible”.

It also whines on about new evidence it says ‘hundae even been thought aboot until the Frown Office made an arse of things’.

The Government is claimed to have made the offer of advise to McNaeskill during a fag break at the Big Holyrood Cooncil.

Scottish LibBent leader, Willie Wontie, called on McNaeskill and the Right Reverend King Alex of Salmond to make a statement to the Big Holyrood Cooncil. He gloated: “Allegations that we’re gonnae make hay with this are well founded. We’re desperate to get wan ower ye’s and this gie’s us a chance. Stick that in yer kilt and get it right up ye’s.”.

Tory Guide leader Truth Gotyason said: “This is staggering. No sooner do I lose sight of my line in the sand when this chance appears on the horizon allowing me to be both opportunistic and outraged. Result.”.

Scottish Labour’s Itsaninjustice spokesman, Whois McDonut, said: “Mr McNaeskill must know that it’s Scottish Labour who should have made this mistake. We’re the natural party for f**k ups of this magnitude.”.

The new book details previously unheard of evidence that McNaeskill has also voted SNP, drunk alcohol, and shouted ‘Come on Scotland’ while watching international football.

Optimus Prime, Bullingdon Dave, described the book “as in insult to all Westminster Parliamentarians who don’t get the opportunity to crush those rebellious Jocks safely ensconced up there in Breastyland.”

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Filed under Diplomacy, Media, Newspeak

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